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Coping with Infertility in California [5 Stages]

Is Deciding to Adopt after Infertility Best For You?

Struggling with infertility can feel impossible to manage. It’s common and understandable for all those who have experienced it to feel this way.

Whether you’ve been trying to get pregnant for weeks or months, an infertility diagnosis can be devastating. Grieving is not simple either, as no two people experience it the same way.

But, when coping with infertility, there are five stages of grief that hopeful parents may go through before they consider their options, such as:

This guide will show hopeful parents why experiencing these five emotional stages is a normal and healthy way to transition from loss to an adoption — and potentially overcome infertility in ways you hadn’t originally imagined. 

If you have been struggling with infertility in California and want to talk with a professional today, you can contact us online and get free information now.

Coping with Infertility in California [5 Stages of Grief]

People deal with the stages of infertility grief in different ways. Although the stages are in no particular order, some will experience all of them while others will experience only a couple of them.

Although no one can tell you exactly how to overcome infertility, you don’t have to face this process alone. There are many resources for infertility support you can turn to. And, of course, when you are ready, you can always reach out to an adoption specialist at American Adoptions of California to discuss your options for moving forward.

Tara and Jeremy, an adoptive couple that worked with us, struggled with infertility. After being emotionally and financially drained from infertility treatments, they decided to turn their focus to a new plan: adoption.

“I think there’s something really special about family, and I think there’s something really special about becoming a family this way,” Tara said. “People really want to help couples realize this dream, and a lot of couples are really kind of quiet about why they adopt. I’m sure one of the No. 1 reasons is infertility, and I think it helps if you’re just honest with people.”

Infertility struggles look different for everyone. For example, your experiences with infertility may be quite a bit different from someone else’s experiences coping with infertility.

In general, though, prospective parents may experience the following stages of grief when moving from infertility to adoption:

Stage 1: Denial

Denial is the state of shock you go into when you realize that you are struggling with infertility. As a result, you may not allow yourself to process your emotions.

Someone in denial simply does not want to believe that this could be happening to their family. Dealing with infertility grief is difficult because some people don’t accept that they’re struggling with it right away.

Stage 2: Anger

Throughout the grieving process, people are often angry because of their infertility struggles.

Not knowing how to deal with infertility can be maddening, and this anger can manifest itself in many ways, including:

  • Fear

  • Jealousy

  • Envy

  • Guilt

  • Resentment

It’s normal to have these feelings, but be sure to express them in healthy ways. Lashing out at your partner or punishing yourself won’t help anyone on the path to overcoming and coping with infertility.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Some people struggling with infertility do anything they can possibly think of to “cure” their infertility. This may include:

  • Attempting infertility treatments multiple times

  • Eating certain foods

  • Praying

  • Changing lifestyles

  • And more

This behavior is completely understandable. But, if a hopeful parent wants to move on from struggling with infertility, they must be fully devoted to the healing process.

Stage 4: Sadness

Hopeful parents dealing with infertility often struggle with intense feelings of sadness and even depression. But, these feelings are actually an important step in coping with grief.

These strong emotions often signal that someone is moving on. But, if these emotions become more intense and you feel like it could be depression, please seek help from a medical provider immediately.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Reaching a place of acceptance for infertility may feel impossible. But, when infertile parents acknowledge their feelings and move through the stages of grief, accepting infertility is manageable.

No matter how long it takes, acceptance means you’re ready for the next steps in your life. If you want to continue down the path of having a child, then family-building options like surrogacy and adoption can be your method of becoming parents.

Of course, you might always have some complicated feelings about this time in your life. But, once you achieve acceptance, these feelings should no longer consume you.


Although American Adoptions can help educate hopeful parents about adoption and reduce their worries about the adoption process, the prospective family must reach acceptance before moving forward.

If you are still struggling with infertility and working to overcome it, then consult a local infertility specialist who can help you work through these complicated feelings.

Also, our helpful adoption specialists can answer your questions about coping with infertility and can recommend counselors in your area. If you want to learn more about the adoption process in California, then you can contact us online to get free information now.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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